Realm of Chaos

I want a vacation. I need a vacation. I have not had one since my booties was like 9 months. that was a year and a half ago. Course I would need money and all that and since I have none of that then well I guess I am fucked.

I really want the bullshit to stop. I spent most of my afternoon folding clothes that don't belong to me in a room that doesn't belong to me, all the while being upset. I don't know when the pain of everything will actually go away? I wish it would, hell sometimes I wish I had the money to move but I know that I am not strong enough for that again. I would give up my daycare, home, and friends yet again. I can't do it.
my son shit on my floor today. I didn't catch him having to go potty quick enough, hell I didn't understand him and since it was dusk I couldn't see either. He has now dumped a handfull or two of fruity pebbles all over my floor. So now I have to clean those up.
I think the only thing I am looking forward to is ER tonight. Oh well my life is full of tv and internet. What a life I live.

Ok so I have realized that no matter what I do it will never be enough. I can't please anyone these days. I can't get it right at work because the invester is a DICK with a capital D. I do damn near everything my mother asks of me, i.e. not yell or spank booties in front of my grandparents because they don't like it. And I do other things as well that she asks me. But it isn't enough. I don't even know where I stand with my ex-husband. As much as i love him i hate him sometimes too.
With all this shit that has been going on he has been really supportive to me. And the sad thing, I have people online that I have never met that care more about me then some of my family. I guess thats when you know you have real friend?

Well I am updated my profile and now I am going to attempt this.